Jon&Kate Plus 8

I am not a regular viewer of Jon and Kate but have watched from time to time because being the mom of triplets I enjoy seeing how "higher order" families get on and I can delight in saying "by the grace of God...". On the few occasions I have seen the show (and this may be editing) Kate did not come off as a relaxed or loving person and Jon was edited to be more layed back and therefore (it seemed)got his cojones handed to him repeatedly.
I did watch the season premiere (May 25, 2009) and got the impression that there was a lot more happening in the Gosselin household than TLC showed wanting to keep the focus on raising the children (a more Disney view) leaving the reality of the stresses and messiness of what makes up the day to day of a marriage/relationship when your focus isn't just on the two of you but the needs of eight other people. Having triplets I can understand the sheer exhaustion and to add the extra strain of cameras, book deals, and promotional touring on top of it...my goodness it is no wonder Jon and Kate find themselves having to step-back and look seriously at their choices.
By the end of the show I got the impression that Jon was done. He did not want the media attention anymore, the cameras out of his house and his quiet computer-geek life back. Kate on the other hand seemed to have wrapped her whole life around wanting the attention and was wondering how all of this will effect book sales, ratings and still very angry at Jon.
My advice: A marriage is a give and take. It can be easy breezy and the next hard as heck and thicker than L.A. smug but at the end of the day you have to have each other's back and remember the love that brought you together. Because before the children, there was Jon and Kate. Before the cameras and book deals, there was Jon and Kate. After the cameras are gone and the children are asleep there has to be Jon and Kate.

Time to Get Serious

So as you can see it has been a bit of time since I last blogged. Well, I am now 45yrs old and I need to get serious. It is a rule or something that when you reach what could be the halfway mark of your life that you have to start making plans and following through. Up until this point you basically are gliding along dealing with your day2day you may think that you are serious and have plans but honestly the plan was to get through school, a marriage, birthing babies and keeping your house. At 45yrs you should look at your life up to that point and say what plan do I have to make a difference, to leave this world a better place for not only your children but for your community.
No! This is not going to be a soul searching self-indulged blog—I don’t have time and I live in a glass house. I have a lot of plastic bags, a big carbon footprint and haven’t always voted. So what am I saying to you? I guess just start thinking about “it” start making small changes because those will lead to bigger ones. I now use canvas bags when I shop, purchase Tropicana OJ to help save acres of rain forest (mine is in Peru) and today is Primary day and I am walking down to the library to vote.

Triplets For Obama

I was asked on the Barack Obama (One Million Strong for Barack) Facebook group page if the girls are mixed--yes, they are I am Africa-American and my husband is Italian-American Actually, the fact that Barack Obama is a "mixture" solidified the girls' support for him Last April or so Abby, Leah & Zoë came home from school pretty upset by a classmate's comments This young lady (just for clarity, of Jamaican decent) announced on the playground, ‘I don’t like white people or mixtures’ Living in a very diverse community that celebrates not only religious, but also cultural and ethnic differences this declaration had me stymied at first but thought it would be a good teaching moment The girls and I had a long talk about embracing differences but also acknowledging that not everyone is going to be as open I went on to say that there are not too many people in the United States who are not some sort of ‘mixture’ and that is one of the things that makes this country great After asking what ‘mixtures’ are in our family but also those of our neighbors, Zoë asked, if Barack Obama was a mixture and I said yes his mother was White and his father was from Africa This revelation brought a smile to the girls’ faces and that was when the word ‘mixture’ went from a put down to being a put-up Abby, Leah & Zoë are very proud to say they are ‘mixtures’ as is the next President of the United States

Where Did 2006 Go?

I cannot believe a whole year has gone by. I had so much to say or BLOG and it truly is amazing how seriously I lazed-out on writing. I could give a number of sincere reasons why but honestly--who cares? It is not like anyone is waiting on pins and needles or with breath that is bated to read my latest ramblings.... Any hoot, I feel I owe (at least to myself) a sort of Year-End-Review. To this end I am putting together a list of the books I have read since my last review so that is where I will start, but first coffee is calling maybe after a cup or four a will be able to write a little more coherently too…BRB

BOOKreMARKS

I am continuing my quest to read or reread the books of my youth and have just finished The Godfather, by Mario Puzo. I do not say this very often, but I liked the movie better. Puzo spends too much time on minor characters and storylines that, in the end, did not move the story forward or had any relevance to the climax. If this book were in the hands of a competent editor (no offense to the folks at Putnam) The Godfather probably would have been streamlined down to a novella or a short story in the New Yorker.

I am a little more than halfway through Gone With The Wind, by Margaret Mitchell. I have seen the movie a few million times so I thought it was about time I read the book. Three words—I love it. Scarlett is awesome and Ashley is a jerk. In the movie he comes off as a stoic gentleman, but in the book he is the king of mixed signals. No wonder Scarlett was so confused. She was only 16yrs old and he was almost 30yrs old!

I am glad I am seeing the "other-side" of the Civil War, being the Yankee that I am. I first had to get over the names they had for African-Americans and the attitude that African American had the intelligence of a 5yr old and had to be taken care of as such. It was especially hard to read Mitchell's excuses and how she seems to hold up the formation and activities of the KKK (see chapter 37). All-in-all it is good see how the mind of the Confederacy worked and how southerners of the period dealt with Reconstruction. Like they say, "Until you walk a mile in a man's shoes...blah-blah-blah"

Between The Godfather and Gone With The Wind I took a minute to read To Kill A Mockingbird, by Harper Lee. I know the movie is a classic and it is one of my favorites but you will be doing yourself a disservice if you do not read the book. It is a quick read and well worth every minute.

A New Years Thought

Here is a crazy thought...or maybe not.

Full disclosure, I am not a fan of Dubya. Having said that, I try to be even handed and give him the benefit-of-the-doubt. That being said, I was a bit disheartened to hear how the 'President" spent New Years Eve. I was listening to NPR on January 1st and the reporter was speaking about how the New Year was ushered in across the world and my heart sank when it was reported the "President" had dinner and retired early.
O.k. you are saying to yourself, "So what?!” Well, I will tell you “what”, 2005 just plan sucked. Natural disasters, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the sinking economy, and lets not forget all the underhanded dealing the Republican party heads and this President's cabinet is currently under investigation. Those are just some of the low lights. O.K., o.k. I am getting to the point.... With all that has past millions of Americans and billions more around the world stood together in places of worship, on the streets and in their homes all with the same hope, that 2006 will be better. We were all standing with heads bowed or looking toward the sky daring to hope for better days ahead.... and where was the so-called leader of the Free World? Curled up in bed with his head under the covers....

Laziness

Laziness is an experinence that in recent years has eluded me. Try as I might I can not seem to achieve true laziness. I would love to read a book titled, The Art of Lazy, The Zen of Lazy or Lazy For Dummies. I just haven't gotten the hang of it, that is why it is an interest of mine.

Lazy as defined by Merriam-Webster:
Pronunciation: 'lA-zE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): la·zi·er; -est
Etymology: perhaps from Middle Low German lasich feeble; akin to Middle High German erleswen to become weak a : disinclined to activity or exertion : not energetic or vigorous b : encouraging inactivity or indolence

Recently I decided to try out this thing called Lazy. For on this day I did not clean the kitchen, living room or dining room. The bathroom floor had a carpet of wet towels and my bed was left unmade. I got up at 8AM and did not take a shower until well after 2PM. I listened to Weekend Edition, Car Talk and You Bet Your Garden. I drank a huge cuppo' while reading the paper and did not look up once while my trips' took turns whining about some toy taken or verbal slight each suffered. I was swimming in the murky waters of self-indulgent-laziness. Jason Mraz was singing in my ear, "...Let’s keep talking anything to stop clock watching. Lately we’re running out of time aren’t we crazy for running all the time? Maybe Let’s forget we’re running out of time..." and I did not care...(sigh).

I basically was on a mental-vacation. As much as I tried to hang on to this sweet vibe, there was this constant knocking on my stupid 'responsible-adult' door. The trips' wanting attention, my 15 year old needing a ride somewhere and my man wanting to know when dinner was going to be ready. UUUGGGHHH! I do not know about you Jason, but I can not seem to stop Clockwatching.

So what does this all mean? Well, I suppose it means you do not get a break being a SaHM (stay-at-home-mom). There is no room for Ms. Lazy. Everything falls on you to pick-up, clean-up, and fix-up. You do not get time off nor do you get to punch the clock at 5PM. Everything that happens within the home is your responsibility and if it does not get done, you will have it to do the next day. Who makes up these stupid rules?

In my quest for Lazy. I have made up some new rules for the household. I have assigned tasks and made others accountable. I have scheduled pockets of laziness, where within that hour no-one knows me, bothers me or expects me to acknowledge his or her existence. Every now and then I ask myself, 'Is having scheduled mental-vacations really the essence of laziness'? Hell. I will take it for now...besides Jason is singing in my ear again and all is good.

Clockwatching
Music by Jason Mraz and Dennis Morris
Words by Jason Mraz and Dennis Morris
Additional Lyrics by Ainslie Henderson

Take off both your shoes and clothes I’ll follow
Undo corkscrew drink from half of a broken bottle
Lately we’re running out of time, aren’t we?
Smoking often and calling out our guilty pleasures
Let’s keep talking anything to stop clock watching
Lately we’re running out of time.
aren’t we crazy for running all the time? Maybe
Let’s forget we’re running out of time

I’m off like an aeroplane
I’m licking your postage stamp again
I’m using my right brain and I’m praying that we don’t crash
Who knew I’d come so fast?
So what if a two pump chump can’t last
But I made it to three and I foreclosed a five-minute fantasy
On a short lived flight making love on economy

No jumping conclusions
I don’t think there’s no solution
Let’s get backwards and forget our restless destination
Let’s live in the moment just this time could we
Just take one moment of our time maybe
Let’s forget we’re running out of time

I’m off like an aeroplane
I’m catching my second wind again
I’m using my left-brain and I’m righting all my wrongs
I’m yearning to turn you on
I’ve been working on getting you off so get on

But how I guess by the subject of the best predicate left unsaid
When the matter is too delicate my loneliness is evident
And it’s You. You’re running through my mind
And it makes me crazy
lady dreamer you might be the soundest sleeper
tonight sleep tight and build your nest upon my shoulder